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The Married At First Sight madness continues as Michael Shiakallis shows his fellow grooms how it’s done with massage and patience. Brennan Shoykhet is insufferable and the experts owe us for giving this tool a platform. And cat allergies are Austin’s latest defense against having to do more than sleep next to Becca Haley. Do like Emily Balch and pour some wine as we slog through the awkward of Season 17, Episode 15 Honeyspoonin’.
Married At First Sight: Michael Shiakallis Stays Patient During Panic
Our midseason Married At First Sight couple Michael Shiakallis and Chloe Brown make it through their first night as a couple but it’s not without incident. While Michael slept like a baby, Chloe had 3 panic attacks in her sleep. However, Michael Shiakallis grounded her through each one. She admits to being prone to panic attacks when she’s in a stressful situation. Like after being coerced into a marriage by a certain television doc named after a soft drink and her pastor sidekick to save a sad sack season.
Michael is treading lightly. So lightly that it’s absurd because clearly his original personality left that day with the runaway bride. Chloe Brown quickly remembers what she’s there for and goes into Cinderella mode. The pair travel to their Denver based honeymoon and she gushes over Michael while tiny birds chirp around her shoulders. They speak in overly polite catch phrases and she feigns a fear of heights so he can feel he has her back again on Married At First Sight.
#MarriedAtFirstSight Michael & Chloe out to their honeymoon. pic.twitter.com/xVHiM4g8hu
— 🦋🍷📺 (@Vee1313) February 1, 2024
Later it’s time for a MAFS staple, the couples massage. Chloe fawns over a naked Michael’s tattoos. And he praises her good hair and luscious lips. Michael Shiakallis takes a turn massaging Chloe and she makes all the right faces. But back at home, Chloe Brown freaks out. Over a shared crab cake she mutters “I don’t think I can do this”. Michael Shiakallis basically talks her down from the ledge again and she melts. Across town Dr.Pepper Schwartz and Pastor Cal Roberson high five.
Married At First Sight: Brennan Shoykhet Needs to Go
There’s been a lot of ick on this doomed season of Married At First Sight. But nobody brings it better than Brennan Shoykhet. He always looks like he’s holding in a fart. Pastor Cal is on the way and Emily Balch offers Brennan some water. Any communication with Emily causes him to twitch and smirk. They use a “talking stick” to air grievances but it’s really a paddle. Emily can’t get a word in without him suggesting she really shouldn’t go there.
i don’t see any mixed signals from Brennan. He’s been pretty consistent at being an asshole and showing no interest in being with you Emily #MAFS #marriedatfirstsight pic.twitter.com/bzG24eWgLi
— marie (@m_sarr) February 1, 2024
Where she should go is far away from this bore. Married At First Sight expert Pastor Cal Roberson once again is useless in rescuing Emily from his bullying. After viewing their original audition tapes, even Brennan Shoykhet admits Emily is the same person she claimed to be. When she can’t say the same about him, it gets uncomfortable. Pastor Cal does admonish him for friendzoning her. Later Emily Balch complains to a friend. Who tells her what Pastor Cal should’ve had the guts to tell her “run for the hills”.
MAFS: Austin Plays the Allergy Card
In more Married At First Sight nonsense, Becca Haley is still waiting for Austin to throw her a bone in bed. Literally. The pair visited his family in Philly. Austin tells Becca he’s sorry he just didn’t feel like doing it at grandma’s house. Especially because there were cats there. And you know he’s allergic and all so he couldn’t breathe much less perform. Plus you know grandma might have heard something if they did.
Austin’s list of reasons to not have sex lol. It was dark out, it was light out, you were breathing, wtf …..#MarriedAtFirstSight #MAFS pic.twitter.com/xAggNcO6dQ
— DJ Chikid (@DJChikid) February 1, 2024
A tired Dr. Pia Holec drops to by to hear the latest excuses from Austin while Becca mindlessly chews frozen pizza. “Well you know there were cats there and relatives and I couldn’t breathe so you know it was either pleasure Becca or die.” Dr. Pia is visibly annoyed by this latest diversion tactic. Somebody please tell Becca that this man is more interested in a box of Teddy Grahams than anything she could offer. Till next time!
Keep up on all the latest Married At First Sight drama here on Soap Dirt.
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