Life comes at you fast, Mama Kelce

The run-up to this year’s Super Bowl has been bereft of a few notable storylines. There’s barely any talk about X’s and O’s, only a little prognosticating on Patrick Mahomes’ legacy, and almost zero chatter about the most famous non-football participant from last year’s Big Game: Donna Kelce.

Obviously, when both of your outspoken sons make the Super Bowl, you’re going to be a story. Reminiscent of the Har-Bowl in 2013, every single puff piece about the Kelce family was covered ad nauseam, and Mama Kelce was on the receiving end of a lot of that attention (partly because she never turns down an open mic, but I digress).

Although Jason was reduced to chugging beers shirtless in a KC suite after the Eagles Wild Card loss, Travis is half of the biggest storyline this year. It took two and a half paragraphs to write the name, “Taylor Swift,” which is surprising because she’s been leading most of the Super Bowl coverage.

Hell, the only way Donna can even get a mention is by mentioning there might not be enough room for her in Swift’s suite.

“You can understand that the boxes in Vegas are multimillion dollars, so I have a feeling I’m not in a box,” Donna said on the Today Show. “I have a feeling I’m in the stands. As far as I know, I’m in the stands with everybody else, because it is a pricey Super Bowl.”

Don’t worry, Donna, when juxtaposed next to the world’s most famous pop star, all of us are quickly relegated to “everybody else” — even your son, who’s actually playing in the game. Seriously, most of the questions the Kansas City All-Pro tight end has fielded the past week were pertaining to Taylor’s whereabouts, his missed trip to the Grammys, and whether he’ll be a groupie when the Eras Tour resumes after Sunday. It’s even odds that one of the first three questions Travis will be asked after a potential third title in five years is if he and Swift will be attending the Super Bowl parade.

So, Mama Kelce can say she’s “going to take a step back to enjoy” this year’s Super Bowl, but the decision wasn’t hers. In reality, Donna was probably on her 14th minute of fame, and any hope for another Campbell’s Soup commercial was stamped out by T-Swift like she did that guy tracking her private jet.

From here on out, it’s all Ziploc bags for Donna, and, hey, that’s better than most. Though I don’t think Taylor will be endorsing single-use plastics anytime soon, gotta get that free money while you can. However, Mama Kelce’s outfit won’t be recognized by the Hall of Fame this offseason, nor will she get gratuitous cutaways from CBS crews on Sunday.

No, all excess camera time must be directed at The Suite. You know, the one Donna Kelce isn’t in.